One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
