I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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