I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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