our cab driver is having phone sex.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
