:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
