Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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