New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
