I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
