It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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