So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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