You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
