I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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