I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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