super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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