Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
