My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
