So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
