When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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