White coat. Heels.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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