that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
