They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
