i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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