Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
