The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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