I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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