just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
