I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
