You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
