Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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