She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
