so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
