come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
