doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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