I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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