so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
