my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
