I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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