It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
