Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
