is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
