everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
