its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
