He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
