I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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