took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize