I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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