Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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