you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
