I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
