I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
