I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
