like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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