So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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