Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
