Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize