Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I need to stop coming to work sober
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
