Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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