I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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