I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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