i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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