oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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