Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
