I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
