Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
