yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize