Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
