She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
