I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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