sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
