Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
