Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
