need another drink. this is the easiest way
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
