but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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